Going through a divorce can change the way people behave. You may find that your divorcing spouse becomes much more angry, bitter and defensive, especially when you disagree. It can be difficult to keep the peace when there are clear tensions between the two of you, and it can be tempting to give up any attempt of improving the relations that you have since you are now committed to divorce.
However, it is particularly important that you make an effort to maintain civility during the divorce, because it may impact your ability to easily reach a settlement. Therefore, you should try to avoid toxic disputes and become familiar with healthier ways to deal with conflict. The following are some tips on avoiding toxic arguments during the divorce process.
Don’t be reactive
If your divorcing spouse says something that you don’t like or that triggers you, it can be very easy to react defensively without thinking things through. You may be blindly reacting to the fact that what was said hurt you, rather than taking the time to process what is being said and to compose a response.
Anger can negatively affect the outcome of any conflict. It is important that both you and your divorcing spouse remain calm when in a discussion. If you find yourself getting angry or upset, remove yourself from the situation so that you can take some deep breaths and recover emotionally.
When entering a discussion with your divorcing spouse, first consider what you want to achieve from the interaction. Perhaps you want to get clarity on how parenting time could be shared, for example. If the conversation goes off-track, try to bring it back to the topic of discussion.
If you are currently going through a divorce and you are getting into heated arguments, it is vital that you understand the most effective strategies for a beneficial divorce outcome.