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When Mom or Dad moves out: How to help your children cope

Telling your children that you're getting a divorce is no easy task. Most parents in Fargo would do anything to protect their children, so breaking the news of a split can be heartbreaking, even if you know it's the right thing. While children may struggle with the concept of Mom and Dad splitting up, it can be especially difficult when it is time for one parent to move out of the house. Fortunately, there are a few things you can do as parents to help your children deal with the transition.

First, set expectations quickly. Explain to your children where they will live and when they will get to see their other parent. Reassure them that your divorce won't change their routines. They can keeping playing soccer and still see their friends.

Next, be mindful of the fact that your children may feel attached to certain things in your home. Maybe they always sit in the same chair when you have a movie night or have a stuffed animal that they like to sleep with. Make sure to hang on to those things during a move if you can. It can go a long way toward helping them feel more comfortable in a new situation. 

Finally, be understanding and compassionate toward your children. While you may be certain that getting divorced was the right choice for you and your spouse, your children may take some time to see it that way. Let your children express that they miss their other parent when they're with you. Letting them know you get what they're going through can help them feel comfortable confiding in you. 

These are just a few of the many ways you can help make a move related to divorce easier on your children. Hopefully they help some Fargo families have an easier transition into divorced life. 

Source: Huffington Post, "When a Parent Moves Out: 13 Tips to Ease the Pain," Kate Scharff, July 8, 2013

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Commandments of Family Law

  1. The only truth your children need to know is that you both love them unconditionally, and that this isn't their fault.
  2. Take the high road — everyone wins when you do what's best for your kids.
  3. Negotiate but don't capitulate — if you are being pushed toward something detrimental for your children, stand your ground.
  4. You can only control yourself and how you respond. Don't engage.
  5. Do set up rules and responsibilities. Kids feel better when routine is continued.
  6. You are still their parent — don't be afraid to be one.
  7. Disneyland is in California, not in your home. Don't set up unreasonable expectations.
  8. It is not their job to take care of you. Repeat that to them. Often.
  9. Yelling is for sports — not court. Good lawyers strongly advocate without being disrespectful to opposing parties.
  10. Fair is a place you go to get cheese curds. Aside from that, nothing in life is fair.

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