If your conversations about divorcing were not tricky enough, you now have to tell the kids.
If you can do this together, that is better. If it is not possible, make sure you are saying the same things and not giving them confusing messages. In other words, you need to discuss what you will tell them first.
Your kids have different priorities than you
You know that parenting advice where they suggest you get down to your kids’ level? Now is the ideal time to put it into practice. You need to consider what you will say based on your children’s ages and maturity levels. You might not tell all your children the same thing.
Adult kids may be more interested in your financial welfare, asking if you need to return to work, how you will afford two houses, etc. Small kids will have much more simple queries. For example, what does divorce mean? What will happen to the dog, or why don’t you love Daddy or Mommy anymore?
The key messages to get across to younger children are that you still love them, it’s not their fault and that some things will not change. For instance, they will still go to the same school, still see you both and can still go to Kevin’s birthday next Saturday.
As time passes, kids will have more questions about your divorce, so it pays to be informed. Getting legal help to find out more about how divorce works puts you in a better position to reassure your children that everything will be fine. Even if it will be a little different than before.
