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Divorce isn’t war: This isn’t about punishment

| May 7, 2021 | Divorce |

If you’ve ever spoken with someone who went through a difficult divorce, then you might have heard them describe it like going to war. Every day, they might have faced new challenges with a spouse who didn’t want to resolve the conflict.

You should know that your divorce does not have to be that way. In fact, it’s a good idea to get away from the idea of “winning” or “losing” a divorce. You cannot win or lose, you can only make decisions that are in your best interests. When both parties do this, then they may be able to resolve their differences and settle on an outcome they can both be happy with.

Does your divorce have to go to trial?

Although the media tends to show divorces going to trial, the truth is that you don’t have to drag out your divorce that long. If you take a reasonable approach and are willing to negotiate, then you may be able to resolve conflicts outside of the court, allowing you to save time, money and energy that is better spent on other things.

At the end of the day, your divorce will go through now or later, no matter what you or your spouse do. The hope is that you will both be reasonable to protect a greater portion of your assets, to make the divorce easier on children if you have them and to make sure that you both walk away in a position to move on without great financial distress.

Collaboration and mediation are two options to help you have a friendly divorce. In mediation, you have a third party there to help you talk about specific topics and keep the conversation on track. With collaborative law, you and your spouse work together throughout the divorce to come up with solutions that will work once the divorce is finalized and you’re no longer legally together.

A divorce is not intended to be a long-term conflict, and approaching it from that angle could cost you thousands of dollars, if not more. Approaching your divorce with the goal of it being as conflict-free as possible may help you resolve your divorce issues sooner.

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