Some divorced or separated parents easily make the transition from living together and raising their children jointly to co-parenting. Others find that change to be quite difficult. Some people have a hard time letting go of their disappointment over a failed relationship. They may become resentful and may frequently lash out at their co-parent as a way of punishing them or hurting them.
After a relationship ends, the children might be the only leverage one parent has. Some people allow their frustrations with the other parents of their children to influence their conduct. They may begin intentionally sabotaging the relationship the other parent has with their children.
Parental alienation can cause lasting psychological harm to not just the parents cut off from their children but also the children themselves. Those experiencing parental alienation often need to act assertively to protect their parental rights. The following are some of the warning signs of parental alienation in a shared custody scenario.
A change in the children’s attitudes
Parental alienation often begins with emotional manipulation. One parent starts badmouthing the other to the children and forcing them to take sides in the matter. They may intentionally blame the other parent for the failure of the parents’ relationship or may complain about their personal grievances to the children. When children start withdrawing from one parental relationship or questioning the perceived misconduct of a parent, that can be an indicator of parental alienation efforts.
A reduction in parenting time
Once there’s a custody order in place, a parent should have regular access to their children as outlined in that order. In a parental alienation scenario, a co-parent may cancel parenting sessions repeatedly with little warning and questionable justifications. If one parent frequently texts to cancel parenting sessions or turns the other away with no advance warning, that can be indicative of an attempt at alienation. They might even lie to the children and claim that the other parent canceled the time with them.
Threats related to parent-child relationships
Some people engaged in parental alienation try to be covert. However, those who let their emotions dictate their behavior often cannot help lashing out at a co-parent. They may threaten the other parent by telling them they may never see the children again or are about to lose their relationship with them.
The best solution to parental alienation involves consistently documenting the matter. If a calm conversation about the pattern of disruptive behavior doesn’t produce appropriate changes, then it may be necessary to take the matter to court. Seeking the enforcement of a custody order or requesting a modification can be appropriate responses to attempts at parental alienation. Judges frequently recognize how damaging alienation can be and may adjust custody arrangements after learning about one parent’s attempt to alienate the other from their children.
