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Dealing with a narcissistic ex during a custody battle

On Behalf of | Jun 14, 2024 | Child Custody |

If you’ve been married to a narcissistic partner, declaring the end of the marriage can trigger their vindictiveness. The stakes can become even higher when you have kids together. The realization that their priority might not be preserving the kids’ welfare may be scary. Perhaps your narcissistic ex is choosing to exert control and punish you for the divorce by using their parental rights to hurt you.

Are they fighting for full custody out of spite? Or maybe they are using parental alienation to make the kids reject you for no valid reason. When an ex is using kids for vindictive reasons during divorce, you can feel helpless and afraid for your kids’ safety.

The narcissistic playbook

Most narcissists crave attention and control and can use the most uncouth methods to have their way. In a custody battle, they may likely use the kids as pawns in their fabricated power struggle. It doesn’t help that many individuals with this personality disorder have no capacity for empathy. Therefore, it’s very likely that they may push the buttons too far without caring about the welfare of the children.

Furthermore, their inflated sense of self-importance convinces them that they’re right and everyone else is wrong, even when they’re clearly manipulating the situation in their favor. If your narcissistic ex is alienating the kids from you, you can expect them to fabricate lies about you to paint a bad picture in the kids’ minds.

Since children are so impressionable, they may believe most of the lies even when they have evidence of the contrary. The worst part is that if the emotional abuse goes on for long enough, they may end up with a distorted sense of reality. Recognizing these behaviors is the first step in effectively responding to the challenge.

Documentation and evidence

One of the surefire ways to stop your narcissistic ex in their tracks is through documentation. Having detailed records of their manipulation can help you protect your kids from further emotional abuse. Documentation can also help you prove to the court that your ex isn’t equipped to fulfill their parenting responsibilities. This evidence can be crucial in court to demonstrate your ex’s true nature and motivations.

If you’re headed for a custody battle with a narcissistic partner, you should saddle up by seeking the guidance of a trusted legal team. Handing over the battle to those who are better equipped to fight it out can give your children a better chance in the face of vindictiveness and manipulation.

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