Intense emotions often run the show during the early stages of a divorce. Your feelings towards your ex may change rapidly and be quite intense. Little things, like their word choice or their arrival at a meeting two minutes late could infuriate you or make you feel victimized.
Too many people let their emotions run the show in the first days of divorce, an unconscious decision that can complicate the process for the entire family. When you divorce in North Dakota, the most important thing to the judge presiding over your custody case will be what is best for the children.
If you have had a contentious approach to shared custody and try to keep your ex away from the kids, that could ultimately hurt your case in court.
Judges want you to put the children first
Good parenting involves letting your emotions and personal preferences take a back seat to the needs of your children. Simply put, your frustration and anger toward your ex do not justify damaging their relationship with the children or asking for sole custody.
If you believe it is for the safety of your children, then you can take steps to limit your ex’s access legally through the courts. Just refusing to let them talk to the children or have visitation with them could come back to haunt you later.
Your ex could use those denied visits and unconnected phone calls to claim that you engaged in parental alienation. Such claims could make you look like an emotionally abusive partner and parent. The courts might ultimately limit your parenting time or view you more negatively because of how you treated your ex or let your emotions dictate your behavior in the early days of shared custody.
Try to set your feelings aside and focus on the kids
The best way to secure a positive outcome in a North Dakota divorce is to keep your expectations realistic and to keep your relationship with your ex civil. You should cooperate with them in accordance with your temporary custody arrangements and avoid talking negatively about them in front of the children.
Cooperating with your ex and supporting their relationship with the kids will help you present your best self to the courts and likely result in the most favorable custody outcome possible. Having the right support as you navigate the challenges of shared custody will improve your chances of a positive outcome.