If you have the kinds of friends and family who like to be involved in your life, you may find yourself concerned if you make the decision to get a divorce. Those who are close to you may have a lot to say about your decision, and some of them may not support what you say you want. Others may support you, but their manner of support might be to ostracize your spouse or talk badly about them when you want to have a relaxed divorce.
When you have friends or family members who may get too involved with your divorce, it’s reasonable to consider putting off telling them about it until it’s almost resolved or is resolved completely. That way, they won’t say or do things that may influence you during the divorce or cause problems for you while you’re dealing with legal aspects of your case.
Telling others about your divorce could change your relationships
Another thing to consider before you tell your friends and family about your divorce is that doing so could change your relationships. If they are also close to your spouse and you and your spouse are at odds with one another, they may feel the need to choose a “side.”
It’s true that your friends and family will need time to process your divorce and to work out their feelings. Before you talk to them, it’s helpful if you have a concept of what you’d like this divorce to be like and how you want to move forward. It’s appropriate for you to set ground rules and to ask that others don’t say negative things about your ex or try to persuade you to change your mind. If they can’t respect your wishes during the divorce, then you may want to cut them out of your life for the time being.
You should be prepared for others to have their own opinions and a range of reactions, but this is your personal life to deal with. It’s fair to ask them not to discuss the divorce with you unless you’d like to, and you’re well within your rights to put space between yourself and your family or friends at any time when you’re feeling overwhelmed.