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Happy selfies break the outdated image of divorce

If you are on social media, you may have noticed the recent trend of couples memorializing their divorces with selfies. For many of these smiling couples, their divorce does not signify the end of their marriage as much as it confirms the continuation of their friendship.

Like many in North Dakota, you may be surprised to see these incongruous snapshots. Perhaps to you, divorce conjures up images of couples battling each other for control over the assets or scheming to get revenge for some hurtful actions. Maybe you even imagined such couples using their own children as pawns in the vicious game. Now that you are facing your own divorce, you may wonder if it is possible for you and your spouse to come through with enough dignity to take your own selfie.

Rethinking divorce

Divorce selfies often include couples embracing, posing in front of the court house where they filed or holding up the signed documents. Some include captions that commend their former partners for their friendship and celebrate the time they spent together as spouses. Those who have children together post that, because of the positive tone of their divorces, their children will never have to make a choice between their parents.

Analysts of this recent trend feel divorce selfies indicate a positive change in the way society views the end of a marriage, for example:

  • Divorce is not a sign of failure.
  • Divorce is nothing shameful.
  • Divorced couples can be optimistic about their futures.
  • Divorced parents can continue to provide stability and love to their children.

In fact, some divorced couples continue living in the same house, demonstrating that a divorce doesn't have to mean the destruction of a family.

Planning your own selfie

If you and your spouse are considering divorce, it may be easy to get caught up in the details and disputes. In fact, it may seem as if there is nothing beyond those disagreements, and you may find it difficult to put your emotions aside and deal with the really important issues, like your children and your future.

Fortunately, there are options for divorce that do not include contentious litigation and bitter fights. With the right assistance, you and your spouse may actually be able to come to peaceful agreements over many of the issues that you must resolve before your divorce can be finalized. Seeking out those options may provide you with a more positive outlook for your future and your family.

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Commandments of Family Law

  1. The only truth your children need to know is that you both love them unconditionally, and that this isn't their fault.
  2. Take the high road — everyone wins when you do what's best for your kids.
  3. Negotiate but don't capitulate — if you are being pushed toward something detrimental for your children, stand your ground.
  4. You can only control yourself and how you respond. Don't engage.
  5. Do set up rules and responsibilities. Kids feel better when routine is continued.
  6. You are still their parent — don't be afraid to be one.
  7. Disneyland is in California, not in your home. Don't set up unreasonable expectations.
  8. It is not their job to take care of you. Repeat that to them. Often.
  9. Yelling is for sports — not court. Good lawyers strongly advocate without being disrespectful to opposing parties.
  10. Fair is a place you go to get cheese curds. Aside from that, nothing in life is fair.

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