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Post-divorce child custody rules not to break

After the china and other trinkets have been split, custody of the children has been determined and the ink is dry on the divorce paperwork, you, your spouse and your children will all need to begin to move forward with your respective lives. In the aftermath of your divorce, though, there are some rules that should be followed when it comes to your ex and the children.

First, don't talk badly about your ex in front of the children. Even if your ex is a liar and a cheat, he or she is still your children's parent.

Second, don't make your kids your go-between or put them in the middle of a disagreement. Your children should not have to choose one parent over another, and doing so is not good for their emotional well-being.

Third, don't introduce your new love soon after your divorce. While you may be anxious for your children to meet the person who has helped you forget about your ex, they will need time to heal after the divorce. It's important that you are completely certain about the relationship before your children meet him or her, too.

Finally, you need to make sure you take care of yourself. Many recent divorcees plunge themselves so deeply into the world of single parenting that they forget to take some time to recover and heal from the demise of their marriages.

Take time to go to the gym, find a new hobby, get out of the house by yourself occasionally and seek professional help if you can't seem to get by the totality of your divorce.Your divorce attorney will likely know a therapist or two that he or she can recommend.

These are just a few of the rules you should not break when dealing with your ex and your children. If you find that there are problems with the child custody arrangement, you may need to speak with your attorney about a modification to it.

Source: sheknows.com, "The 7 commandments of parenting post-divorce," Claire Gillespie, Jan. 15, 2017

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Commandments of Family Law

  1. The only truth your children need to know is that you both love them unconditionally, and that this isn't their fault.
  2. Take the high road — everyone wins when you do what's best for your kids.
  3. Negotiate but don't capitulate — if you are being pushed toward something detrimental for your children, stand your ground.
  4. You can only control yourself and how you respond. Don't engage.
  5. Do set up rules and responsibilities. Kids feel better when routine is continued.
  6. You are still their parent — don't be afraid to be one.
  7. Disneyland is in California, not in your home. Don't set up unreasonable expectations.
  8. It is not their job to take care of you. Repeat that to them. Often.
  9. Yelling is for sports — not court. Good lawyers strongly advocate without being disrespectful to opposing parties.
  10. Fair is a place you go to get cheese curds. Aside from that, nothing in life is fair.

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