For those who want a divorce, there are a lot of positive things that happen when the divorce occurs. You don't have to be around someone you don't want to be around any longer. If the marriage was toxic, you can finally become less stressed dealing with it. At some point, you even get to start looking for someone who is right for you, based upon the lessons you've learned.
However, there are dangers that come with divorce, too, especially when you have children with your ex. Consider the following:
One danger is that your ex knows your triggers. He or she knows what to say or do to really hurt you or make you angry. Because you still have to deal with your ex when you have children together, you are likely going to argue at times like you did when you are married. Avoiding this is important to not only your sanity, but for your children's well-being.
Another danger of divorce is the children. There is a good chance that your children will choose one parent over the other and it really doesn't matter how old the kids are. One way they express this is by wanting to stay at mom's or dad's house more. While they may act as though they don't want to go to the other parent's home, when it does happen, they usually enjoy the time spent there.
Both parents need to be deeply involved in their children's lives; however, the parents also need to do as much as they can to limit the fighting -- especially when it comes to fighting with the kids over where they want to be.
Of course, there are parents who like to tell their children's other parent that the children prefer to stay with them. This can harm the other parent's relationship with his or her children -- sometimes irreparably.
If you believe that you need help dealing with the negative side of divorce and child custody, it is okay to seek help from a therapist, and the same goes for your children. Sometimes, you may feel like you need to have your custody exchanges at a police department or other safe location. You can have your attorney file a petition with the court.
Source: Huffington Post, "The Three Dangers Of Divorce," David Wygant, Jan. 16, 2017