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More Men are Winning Custody Battles

When divorce involves children, the stresses of the process can become overwhelming. Oftentimes, neither parent wants to lose custody of their children. However, over the years many parents have simply accepted that the mother is going to win custody.

This is because most men used to be the primary breadwinners and judges felt that money could be replaced by child support but time cannot be replaced; however, an article published in the New York Times proves that this trend is changing.

This article noted that there were several arguments involved in placing the children with the mothers by default many years ago. In addition to the monetary factor, lawyers would often argue that the mother knows the children better. They might help the kids with their homework, drive them to their sporting events, put them to bed at night, and arrange playdates. 

As society has evolved, these parenting roles have become increasingly blurred. Now, it is not unusual for both parents to work and both parents to share the parenting duties. In fact, there are some situations where the mother is the primary breadwinner and the father stays at home and takes care of the children. The arguments that used to hold true for mothers are now often holding true for fathers as well.

In recent years, more fathers are winning custody because they are effectively articulating their arguments. They are just as involved in raising their children as mothers and often find themselves running errands with the kids, tutoring them with assignments, or playing with them in the backyard. In addition, judges are also recognizing the importance of keeping fathers involved in the lives of children.

While some people used to assume that the mother was going to win their custody battle, the percentage of fathers winning custody battles has been rising in recent years. Fathers used to win custody battles only in cases where the mother was deemed unfit or some other unique circumstance influenced judges associated with these cases. Now, the playing ground is significantly more even.

Because the custody disputes are now a relatively level playing field, it is more important than ever that people understand the legal implications of a custody dispute. The decision in a custody battle is no longer a foregone conclusion and this means that anyone headed towards a custody battle should consider hiring an attorney who understands the changing landscape and has effectively adapted their legal practice to handle these changes.

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Commandments of Family Law

  1. The only truth your children need to know is that you both love them unconditionally, and that this isn't their fault.
  2. Take the high road — everyone wins when you do what's best for your kids.
  3. Negotiate but don't capitulate — if you are being pushed toward something detrimental for your children, stand your ground.
  4. You can only control yourself and how you respond. Don't engage.
  5. Do set up rules and responsibilities. Kids feel better when routine is continued.
  6. You are still their parent — don't be afraid to be one.
  7. Disneyland is in California, not in your home. Don't set up unreasonable expectations.
  8. It is not their job to take care of you. Repeat that to them. Often.
  9. Yelling is for sports — not court. Good lawyers strongly advocate without being disrespectful to opposing parties.
  10. Fair is a place you go to get cheese curds. Aside from that, nothing in life is fair.

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