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Moving on after a divorce: Dealing with baggage

For some people, there is no more traumatic event in their lives than the end of their marriage. Picking up and moving on afterwards may feel like the impossible task and as a result, it can lead to feeling as though you have too much baggage to consider any type of relationship afterwards.

Each person brings some emotional baggage into a marriage and it is just heavier when the marriage is over. These are a few things to consider to help make it easier to move forward after a divorce. Consider the following:

-- If you aren't happy, you can't expect that another person will make you happy. It's really up to you to figure out how to manage your own issues. Doing so may take time, but you can find help, through friends, family, a counselor or therapist.

-- Don't look for someone to put you back together after your divorce. Instead, consider looking for someone who can bring balance to your life.

-- If something isn't working in your life, get rid of it. If you realize that you always seem to choose the same type of person that doesn't really work for you, then take a risk and look for someone different.

A divorce can bring about many changes in your life, aside from just being single again. You may find that your baggage is quite heavy and you need to work to understand it and let go of it. Doing so may not be easy, but it can help you when you are ready to enter into a new relationship. If you need a recommendation for a professional therapist, your divorce attorney may have a recommendation.

Source: Huffington Post, "Life After divorce -- Unpack Your Bags," Tamara Angela Grant, Aug. 08, 2016

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Commandments of Family Law

  1. The only truth your children need to know is that you both love them unconditionally, and that this isn't their fault.
  2. Take the high road — everyone wins when you do what's best for your kids.
  3. Negotiate but don't capitulate — if you are being pushed toward something detrimental for your children, stand your ground.
  4. You can only control yourself and how you respond. Don't engage.
  5. Do set up rules and responsibilities. Kids feel better when routine is continued.
  6. You are still their parent — don't be afraid to be one.
  7. Disneyland is in California, not in your home. Don't set up unreasonable expectations.
  8. It is not their job to take care of you. Repeat that to them. Often.
  9. Yelling is for sports — not court. Good lawyers strongly advocate without being disrespectful to opposing parties.
  10. Fair is a place you go to get cheese curds. Aside from that, nothing in life is fair.

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