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When a moneyed spouse turns into a bully during a divorce

Not all North Dakota divorces involve quick property division decisions. In fact, one partner may end up attempting to intimidate the other, or even issue financial threats, during the divorce proceeding. One spouse may become irrationally angry and make unfair statements that brutalize the other party. For example, moneyed spouses have been known to tell their partners that they will lose the children and end up on the streets; others say they would rather give all of their money to their attorneys to fight the divorce, instead of handing over a dime to their partners. Although those threats can seem scary at the time, it is critical to realize that you have options if you are being intimidated as the non-moneyed spouse. Today, some tips about handling a financially contentious divorce.

Non-moneyed spouses face the very real threat that their partner could be hiding assets, lying to legal representatives or even spending money that should be tied to the marital estate. Be vigilant. Make sure that you are able to access all financial documents, and think rationally about your spouse's threats. While some spouses are simply spewing off in order to relieve stress, others may give you clues to relevant financial risks.

Further, be sure that your divorce attorney provides you with the relevant information about legal requirements in the state of North Dakota. You may need to know how retirement accounts are divided, for example, and you should understand the implications of "equitable distribution" as it pertains to your breakup.

Finally, non-moneyed spouses who are being bullied by their soon-to-be exes should document every interaction they have with the other party. Write down the dates of the threats, and try to record exactly what that person says. Even if you never use it in court, this type of a log may be beneficial in predicting negative patterns of behavior, helping you cope with this bad behavior at the end of a marriage.

Spouses who believe their partners are lying about financial matters may benefit from consulting a qualified family attorney. These professionals can help negotiate property division settlements by carefully assessing both parties' financial standings. Your family attorney can be both your ally and your advocate.

Source: Forbes, "How To Cope With Your Husband's Financial Threats During Divorce" Jeff Landers, Jan. 08, 2014

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Commandments of Family Law

  1. The only truth your children need to know is that you both love them unconditionally, and that this isn't their fault.
  2. Take the high road — everyone wins when you do what's best for your kids.
  3. Negotiate but don't capitulate — if you are being pushed toward something detrimental for your children, stand your ground.
  4. You can only control yourself and how you respond. Don't engage.
  5. Do set up rules and responsibilities. Kids feel better when routine is continued.
  6. You are still their parent — don't be afraid to be one.
  7. Disneyland is in California, not in your home. Don't set up unreasonable expectations.
  8. It is not their job to take care of you. Repeat that to them. Often.
  9. Yelling is for sports — not court. Good lawyers strongly advocate without being disrespectful to opposing parties.
  10. Fair is a place you go to get cheese curds. Aside from that, nothing in life is fair.

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