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Father fights for child adopted without his consent

After a man met a woman and they engaged in a relationship, he was soon told that he was going to be a father. While the relationship did not work out, he was committed to being the child's father, interested in a shared parenting arrangement or even taking the child to raise himself if necessary. What he claims the woman did, however, was, despite knowing this, giving birth and then placing the child for adoption without his permission.

This was after he helped her with medical bills and groceries during the pregnancy, talked about baby names with her, went to the doctor with her and was there when the ultrasound exam showed that she was having a boy. A decent man, in other words, determined to do right by his son even if the mother was no longer his girlfriend.

It also then turned out that she was not divorced from her husband as she had led him on to believe, but still married, so that the husband, as the child's "presumed" father, despite the fact that the child was not his, signed off on a consent to adoption.

He is engaged in court proceeding to try to gain custody of his son and is arguing that the birth mother intentionally defrauded him and that an adoption agency and others involved in the case helped her do so. He also says that this has happened in the past to other biological fathers who are not married, essentially cheating them of their parental rights. Married or not, both a biological father and mother have parental rights, the right to know their children, support then, and be involved in their lives. When these rights are denied, family law attorneys are ready to go to court to fight for them.

Source: The Salt Lake Tribune, "Utah dad alleges ‘deceit,’ takes fight for son to federal court" Brooke Adams, Dec. 31, 2013

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Commandments of Family Law

  1. The only truth your children need to know is that you both love them unconditionally, and that this isn't their fault.
  2. Take the high road — everyone wins when you do what's best for your kids.
  3. Negotiate but don't capitulate — if you are being pushed toward something detrimental for your children, stand your ground.
  4. You can only control yourself and how you respond. Don't engage.
  5. Do set up rules and responsibilities. Kids feel better when routine is continued.
  6. You are still their parent — don't be afraid to be one.
  7. Disneyland is in California, not in your home. Don't set up unreasonable expectations.
  8. It is not their job to take care of you. Repeat that to them. Often.
  9. Yelling is for sports — not court. Good lawyers strongly advocate without being disrespectful to opposing parties.
  10. Fair is a place you go to get cheese curds. Aside from that, nothing in life is fair.

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