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More ex-spouses being cooperative

While a lot of time there is animosity and resentment between ex-spouses, there are many instances in which they can cooperate. Some say that this is becoming increasingly common. An unsurprising context for this is the holidays, when many ex-spouses put aside old differences, call a cease fire to any lingering hostilities, and often work together to make things festive and fun for the sake of their children. Some get together as a family, decorate the tree together, and coordinate presents so the kids get more of what they want and need, or go together to the grandparents and other extended family for the celebrations, just as before the divorce.

But for some, that spirit of cooperation can extend beyond the holidays and may occur even if there are no children in the picture. The fact that the marriage did not work does not mean that in all instances ex-spouses no longer have any positive feelings about each other or concern for their welfare. In some instances, when an emergency or sudden serious illness or injury strikes, an ex-spouse may step in and offer some assistance, or at least well wishes.

Animosity that seemed white hot at the point the marriage was ending can sometimes fade to a certain extent with time, and people sometimes do recall the good times and positive feelings once experienced. This is sometimes seen when an ex-spouse dies. In one instance, an ex-wife who had remarried gave a eulogy at the funeral of her ex-husband, as she knew him well, and could speak of some of his positive qualities.

This is hardly universal, of course, and when one or both spouses simply can't refrain from visiting old battles, it may be best to strictly limit contact to those things that are absolutely necessary.

Source: USA Today, "Ex-spouses can get along — and not just for the holidays" Sharon Jayson, Dec. 23, 2013

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Commandments of Family Law

  1. The only truth your children need to know is that you both love them unconditionally, and that this isn't their fault.
  2. Take the high road — everyone wins when you do what's best for your kids.
  3. Negotiate but don't capitulate — if you are being pushed toward something detrimental for your children, stand your ground.
  4. You can only control yourself and how you respond. Don't engage.
  5. Do set up rules and responsibilities. Kids feel better when routine is continued.
  6. You are still their parent — don't be afraid to be one.
  7. Disneyland is in California, not in your home. Don't set up unreasonable expectations.
  8. It is not their job to take care of you. Repeat that to them. Often.
  9. Yelling is for sports — not court. Good lawyers strongly advocate without being disrespectful to opposing parties.
  10. Fair is a place you go to get cheese curds. Aside from that, nothing in life is fair.

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