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How to make good decisions during your divorce

Divorce is rarely an emotionless process. For whatever reason, you and your spouse have decided that your marriage is no longer working and should end. Just because it is the right thing, however, does not mean it is easy -- something some Fargo residents may know firsthand. Whether you are sad, angry, frustrated or a combination of those feelings, it is important not to let your emotions cloud your judgement during your divorce

First and foremost, you must work with an attorney to get a clear understanding of the implications of your decisions during divorce. Know what will happen if you agree to certain things or if you choose to go to court. Make sure to consider all of your options before finalizing any decisions. When your divorce is final, there is usually no going back. 

Next, remember that even though your friends and family love you, they probably don't know much about the intricacies of divorce. Despite the fact that you may value their opinions, the only person you should be taking advice from is your legal team. They know the laws inside and out and can help make sure your best interests are protected. 

Finally, make sure you know what you need and that you go after it. While it is important to pick your battles wisely in divorce, you should not agree to things that will leave you broke at the end. Look at your income and expenses and determine what you will need out of the divorce to provide for yourself and your children if you have any. This can help you determine how much to ask for in alimony or child support. On the flip side, only agree to payments that are fair and that you will be able to afford. 

Unraveling the strings of a marriage is not always an easy task. Although emotions are always involved in divorce, it is important to set them aside while you work out a settlement. Making level-headed decisions will go along way toward ensuring a successful divorce that is fair and protects your interests. 

Source: Huffington Post, "7 Tips to Avoiding a Disastrous Divorce," Daniel Clement, Aug. 20, 2013

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Commandments of Family Law

  1. The only truth your children need to know is that you both love them unconditionally, and that this isn't their fault.
  2. Take the high road — everyone wins when you do what's best for your kids.
  3. Negotiate but don't capitulate — if you are being pushed toward something detrimental for your children, stand your ground.
  4. You can only control yourself and how you respond. Don't engage.
  5. Do set up rules and responsibilities. Kids feel better when routine is continued.
  6. You are still their parent — don't be afraid to be one.
  7. Disneyland is in California, not in your home. Don't set up unreasonable expectations.
  8. It is not their job to take care of you. Repeat that to them. Often.
  9. Yelling is for sports — not court. Good lawyers strongly advocate without being disrespectful to opposing parties.
  10. Fair is a place you go to get cheese curds. Aside from that, nothing in life is fair.

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